


linger

by artificialmeggie (ohmymeggs), TheArtificialDane



Series: Behind Closed Doors [4]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Avengers Anthology, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-28 06:10:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19806340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmymeggs/pseuds/artificialmeggie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheArtificialDane/pseuds/TheArtificialDane
Summary: “That was a long time ago.” Brooke touches Vanjie's hips, his smile big and bright, the hustle and bustle of the backstage area barely captured in the camera as Vanessa turns away, half-naked and glowing, a single look over his shoulder and a gruff voice ending the conversation.“I don’t give a fuck.”





	linger

“ _That was a long time ago.” Brooke touches Vanjie's hips, his smile big and bright, the hustle and bustle of the backstage area barely captured in the camera as Vanessa turns away, half-naked and glowing, a single look over his shoulder and a gruff voice ending the conversation._

“ _I don’t give a fuck.”_

Brooke feels his hand fall, pulling it back like he has just been burned, though the smile thankfully stays on his face. 

Vanjie’s rejection was instant, sharp and harsh, spilling from his lips and into the microphone without a single thought. Vanjie never thought, his mouth and heart always rushing, burning, running at full speed.

Brooke knows the camera is pointed to him, so he laughs, smiles, pretends this is all okay. He clings to the fact that he was, that he is a winner. That he has to win this too.

Miss Continental is the only thing that holds his body in place. 

The crowning is later tonight, and it is all too important, his journey here too long to show anyone and least of all Vanessa how he is hurting. In two days it’s the reunion, and Brooke will know if he has a chance of winning, even though he already knows that he has lost the man who is now walking away. The price he never even knew that he needed.

Vanjie is already gone, the attention on Brooke already over, Vanessa's ADHD and the company of a camera meaning he buzzes like a bee, burns like the sun, bounces around with the power that only Red Bulls and a need to go go go can give. 

Brooke hears a scream of Yvie from the top of Vanessa's lungs, and knows his moment is over. The two kiking and laughing, Vanjie’s charm turned to someone else, who is now his entire world.

Brooke turns, looking in her mirror. His makeup is perfect, and all he has to do is wait, wait for the carpet, wait for the finale, wait for the lip syncs and the crowning. Wait, wait, wait, when his skin is still burning from its time on Vanessa's hip. He curses himself for how fast he is, knows he’s flawless, that adding more would be a mistake, but he longs for something to do with his hands, to have anything to occupy his time but the warmth that lingers in his palm; Vanjie’s skin so very soft.

Brooke never expected it to be what he missed most, but it’s the lack of lingering touches that almost kills him. 

Brooke has always been a toucher. He barely had a personal space on a good day, years of ballet and then drag breaking down his walls, others being near him as simple as breathing. He had no hesitation about her body, knew he looked fucking fantastic in everything. He was confident, cool, cold, and warm.

Touching was his natural state, and it was part of what had made Vanjie attracted to him. The attention he gave, the way he shared, the complete faith that his touch would be accepted. Vanjie had told him in between hushed kisses, lips touching, tongues dancing, promises whispered and shared in the back of the van, the illusion of privacy thin as ice and guarded by their sisters who somehow believed in them.

Brooke thought he’d be okay with the end, assumed he would. He had always been before. 

The decision to break up had been his alone. Vanjie had cried, screamed, anger rolling off him in waves, but Brooke had stood firm, too scared of what they had between them. Brooke had been okay for 33 years, but then, his carefully constructed tower of cards came crashing down, one small Puerto Rican that was somehow larger than life smashing down every wall he had ever put up.

Brooke catches Nina’s eyes in the mirror, his friend watching him over her aluminum dish of takeaway lasagna. Brooke touches her fingers together, pinky and thumb, his digits pressing together twice, and he can see Nina visibly relax. It’s their own little signal, a sign that the other one is okay, a way for them to communicate with cameras everywhere just like tonight, and Brooke wonders briefly if he’d still be with Vanessa if Nina had only been around too. 

Brooke takes his coffee, slowly sipping it as he follows Vanjie in his mirror, his hand still burning from the touch he so desperately wished was still on Vanessa’s hip.

**Author's Note:**

> The sixth in the Behind Closed Doors Series. We'll be posting one for the next five days until the entire series is complete.


End file.
